Old Port Outragousness


Cool Stories

A little while ago I had a ridiculous adventure out in the Old Port.  It all started when I received a call from Lucas telling me to meet up with him at Gritty's.  I went over there and he and Nate were hanging out with some Freeport heads.  A few minutes later Dane and Mike Roy showed up and from there I knew it was going to be a randy night.  As I sat there Dane wouldn't stop harassing me.  He wanted to leave and do something and no one had any idea what to do.  Dane and Mike wanted to go get forties and come back to Gritty's.  I told them that that was the stupidest idea, so Dane kicked me in the leg.  It was pretty abrupt and unappreciative.  So for the remainder of the time Dane would randomly brush his hand across my neck whenever I wasn't looking, a classic Dane maneuver.
So eventually we made our way out of Gritty's and decided to go to the Old Port.  First things first, we had to get forties at the Big Apple to get things flowing.  We all bought different style forties, and Lucas was so budget he put his on a  credit card.  A dollar something on a credit card is hilarious.  So after our purchase we jumped back on the highway towards Portland, I mean "Ace City".
Once we got to Portland we sat in the parking lot until we finished our forties.  Dane conquered his, and was like, "I win."  I then took a sip of my forty and realized mine was empty, so I think I won.  Once we were on foot we went to Fore Play, one of the lamer bars in the Old Port, but it seems we go there everytime. 
We met up with Litchfield, Mo Murderous, MD, Charlie Field, and Tucker aka "Green Sleeves".  We hung out there for a little while and MD bought us some beers.  Lucas left and went to get some beers and when he returned he said, "Look what I got."  I looked in his pocket and saw a bottle.  I was like, "Cool, another beer."  He responded with, "No, look closer."  Lucas somehow managed to steal a bottle of Jack Daniels from the bar when they weren't looking.  He then said we had to get out of there and drink it.  So we all left in need of some whiskey. 
As we walked down the street to find some shady place to drink it I bumped in Damon Skryzpek, or however you spell it, and chatted it up.  As I talked to him Litchfield and Charlie made this dude listen to Tucker's joke or they were going to beat him up.  You have to hear the story from Litchfield to truly appreciate the scenario.  We then proceeded to find an alley and as we walked a limo drove by and Lucas punched the window real hard.  The limo driver dude got out of the car and store us all down.  We then walked off. 
For some reason Lucas and I were walking on the opposite sides of the street and the limo came back around.  The limo stopped right next to me so I ducked out down this side street and the limo followed me.  Eventually the limo left me alone and I returned to the parking lot where we parked.  The funny thing was that the car was gone.  So I decided the best thing to do was start walking down towards the bars hoping that they would drive by.  I called all the people that I was with and no one answered there phones.  From here I knew I was fucked, but I also thought how hilarious the situation was.  So I got a plan.
I went to Amigo's because Damon told me that was where he was heading.  Like he told me he was there and I told him my situation and he said I can chill with him until I figure out what to do.  So in the meantime we played pool and I finally got a call from Lucas.  I asked him where he was and he said that he was on the highway heading towards South Portland.  I was so confused and I asked him why he was going to SoPo.  He said that Litchfield had a hotel room at the HOJO.  I told him I was still in Portland by myself and his reponse was nothing but laughter.  He asked me where Nate was, and I had no clue, and then he said, "There he is, next to us on the highway."  Lucas then said that he would call me when they were leaving. 
I talked to Litchfield later about this situation and apparentely Lucas acted like he knew nothing when they got to the hotel.  He was like, "Where is Geoff?"  Or he acted all shocked when he found out that I wasn't there.  I can't really remember what Litchfield told me.
So back to my adventure.  I proceeded to play some pool and the bar closed.   We were hanging out front with some random dudes that I didn't know except Damon and this dude Josh Martel, who I used to skate with back in the day.  This is when the story gets way better.  Josh started harrassing all the ladies when they walked by.  A pair of girls were walking by and he asked them this: "What are you fine sluts up to tonight?"  There was one fat one and she was pissed and was like,"What?"  His reponse was something like this: "Not you, you fat smelly cunt."  So she punched him and he pushed her back.  I thought that was pretty crazy but then he bounced up the street to get away and she chased him.  We followed the rowdiness and as I got to the top of the hill I see him kick her in the stomache leaving her laying on the ground.  He then escaped into the darkness of an alley.  We were all amazed at what just happened.
We then were walking up Exchange St. and he popped up in front of us and was all wide eyed and asked where they were.  We had no clue and then they came around the corner and he escpaed back down the alley.  The girls claimed they were going to stab him next time they see him. It was nuts.
From there I got into some dudes car who I didn't know or know where we were going, but it seemed cool because he was playing some Afrika Bambataa in his whip.  We then go to his house and he had a mad stock of spray paint and they were all scheming on going around town bombing shit.  I was like crap, I don't want to go around tagging, but whatever.  Lucas then called me and told me they were heading back.  So I bounced from there and met up with them.
We then headed north and went up to where the Baxter school of the Deaf is and we were stopped by the security dude and he told us to head back, so we did.  We then went to Walmart and got soda and headed to HYC to meet up with Charlie and Mo Diggity.  As we waited at HYC we get a call from Charlie saying he was stuck in a ditch and he needed us to get him out.  We get to MD's house and found Charlie's car totally stuck in the ditch.  It was hilarious because he totally missed the driveway and went in the ditch.  So we picked the car up and put it back on the driveway.  For the remainder of the night we hung out at HYC and then went home.