For the weekend before Thanksgiving of 2003 an exquisite posse from Freeport were going to rendezvous at
Berg's house in Rhode Island. There were such claims as a quad kegger and mad sorority chicks. As the claims were
laid out in front of us we decided it was our obligation to go. So we rallied up a car full of boys and went down.
The squad consisted of Lucas, Pete, Phil, myself, and the special mystery guest of Canasta.
We reached Berg's house around sixish and ate a bunch of hot dogs and burgers off of the George
Foreman. What's the deal with these things? Everyone has them and the quality is always the crappiest. Plus
the only condiment they had was barbecue sauce so they tasted pretty nasty. The Freeport Posse was a pretty stellar
line up. We had the likes of Geer, Jake, Cory, Eric Oikle, Anne Kennedy as the only girl, and some dude named Bobby
who goes to school with Cory. I think that's everyone, if I left someone out I'm sorry.
When we arrived there were two kegs there and we started drinking. Yes, I drank,
sorry I sold out, but sometimes it calls you. For the longest time there were only the Freeport kids and we just hung
out waiting for the party. In the downtime we drank, socialized, and played be route (how the crap do you spell that?)
The posse drank a little too fast and got way too rowdy. There was a beer fight and all around rowdiness. The
beer started getting tossed around because of an earlier sabotage. Pete, Lucas, and I went and played Disc Golf and
on the last hole Pete jumped into a puddle producing the largest muddy tidal wave that swamped Lucas to the maxx. Lucas'
pants were the wettest and Lucas thought covering Pete with beer would be the best revenge. Down in the basement there
was the hugest beer can pyramid and Canasta had the good idea to dive into it. We closed the door to the basement
and he leapt through it making the lowdest explosion of cans that covered the whole basement. Berg got all pissed and
gave us a big speech about how disrespectful we were. We all laughed at him and carried on. His roomates were
pissed and walked by someone and talked shit to them under their breath. I can't remember what exactly they said,
but it was pretty bad, also pretty funny. I might want to mention that this all happened before nine o' clock.
Pete got so nasty he had to take a shower.
Around 10:30 or 11:00 the guests started to arrive and like Berg said they were all sorority
girls. We greeted them all at the door with some harrassing comments, mostly sexual, and they were not appreciative
of them in the littlest bit. All the girls were pretty much snobs and we did our best to make sure we had a good time.
So much harrassment was laid down and they just had to deal with it. The overall male to female ratio was outstanding,
it was like one boy to fifty girls, so my idea was to harrass all of them until one thought I was cool. It kinda worked.
For the majority of the time we just walked around harrassing everything in sight. Mostly
to girls and then when we saw a fellow Freeporter we harrassed each other and then mention how cool we were, I mean how ridiculous
the scenario was. All the people from Rhode Island hated us and thought we were the randiest. I believe that was
our goal, to leave them with an overall bad impression of where Berg was from.
Berg's roomate had a shit load of Lucky Charms, probably like three boxes, and we just devoured
them. Dry cereal and beer was delicious. We tryed to hand them out as pick up lines, but when you're laughing
hysterically it doesn't work that well. When they declined we insisted on them eating them, and when they said no again
we just shoved the handful in our mouths.
At some point in time our secret weapon showed up, it was Jeremy and that's just what
we needed for the team. After wandering around for a while I found a couch packed with hot chicks getting ready for
a picture. I jumped in on the couch and got in a bunch of pictures. After the pictures I stuck around and
layed the mack down on the ladies. Lucas kept trying to get in on the action and I told him to go away. From there
he would keep threatening me by saying, "You're lucky you're not dead." and pointing his finger at me. I told the girls
he was European and he didn't make any sense. They bought it.
All night Lucas made the claim,"You're lucky you're not dead," and we all respected it.
Berg's house was right on the river and he had this cool deck that looked out on to it. Everyone smoked butts on the
deck and we would go out and harrass girls while they smoked butts. Earlier Lucas made the claim that he would go swimming
in it. The time had come where Lucas had to meet his maker and go swimming. I wasn't down by the water, becasue
I was harrassing some girl, but from what I heard Lucas stripped down to his bare essentials, which is nothing, and went
for a quick dip. Jake said he saw his junk and it wan't cool. I could hear Lucas swimming around and complaining
about how gross it was. He said you had to walk through a bunch of mud first. He returned to the house only with
his boxers on, which were on backwards, and tookover the bathroom. There were girls in the bathroom and they wouldn't
let him use the bathroom at first, so he made some claim and they left so he could shower. I wish I saw him walk through
the party with only his boxers on sopping wet, those girls must have been so confused.
The party was pretty repetitive, but to us it was pretty entertaining. By the end
of the night the party started to slow down and people were leaving, so we stood by the door and harrassed them as they left.
I started harrassing one girl about how I wanted to leave with her and of course she was the only girl with a boyfriend there
and he got all pissed. He told me to shut up ,and I refused, I kept talking mad smack to him as I harrassed his girl
at the same time. If I were him I would have punched me, but for some reason he didn't, maybe he was overwhelmed by
how 5% of the party was the rowdiest and everyone was scared of them. Then out of no where some girl was intrigued by
my randiness and was all about me. I layed it down and she gave me her number, I never called her, I'm a bastard.
Geer drank to much, but there was no need not to, and he got all sick. He was out
on the deck all sick looking and shit faced and you knew it would be any minute when he would puke. Of course he barfed
and then was ready to party again. It was gross because he would get all in your face with barf breath and this glazed
over face. I was scared of him, I didn't want to get puked on, but Jake thought it was the perfect opportunity to harrass
him. As Geer slowly passed out on the couch Jake kept coming up with new methods of harrassing him. At one point
he rode a bike through the house into Geer's crotch. After a while Geer got pissed and tried to fight him. This
was a legitimate fight where punches were thrown. The end result was a broken speaker and Jake's back having this nasty
cut down his back. It looked like Wolverine got to him, it was gnarley.
Finally, everyone left so we could relax, the job of ruining ones night was hard work.
Lucas and Berg still had a bunch of energy and they had a dance off and wrestling match. Lucas lost in both events,
but challenged him over and over again and always saying, "You're lucky you're not dead." This was too funny, probably
because we were super tired, my cheeks shurt extensively from laughing. Berg then tried to break some wood over his
knee which wouldn't break and he got hurt, I laughed. Canasta and Geer escaped and slept in Pete's car. Pete went
to get his sleeping bag and found Geer in it. He pulled Geer out of it and gave him shit for taking it. Geer then
escaped to Berg's room and slept on the floor. I think Berg asked Anne if she wanted to sleep up there too. She
declined because she knew Berg already had a sesh with some chick during the party. Berg's the man.
We all passed out and Lucas and I fought over the couch and it ended up with both of us
trying to sleep on it. Head and toe, none of that spooning crap. After a little while I decided that it sucked
and I slept on the floor. I woke various times, either from the cold or Lucas' feet falling on my face. I slept
in my shirt, both arms tucked right away. I noticed someone else had this style going too, except they were in a t-shirt.
When the sun started to come up I found my jacket and went back to sleep.
In the morning we all woke up in a daze and recapped the night and had a good chuckle.
Oikle selpt in the basement on the couch and he said that the whole foundation would shake when the furnace turned on.
I pictured him getting jiggled right off the couch and falling on the floor. We looked around and there were so much
Lucky Charms all over the place. All of us had enough of the Lucky Charms but I picked up a marshmallow off the
counter and ate it. It was so stale and nasty. We all left without helping Berg clean up. I saw him later
that week and he said that everyone that was there wasn't impressed by the Freeport scene. It's funny because everyone
knew who was from Freeport because we were the only ones being rowdy and obscene.
The ride home was pretty amusing. I somehow lucked out with shotgun and loved every
minute of it. Canasta got all sick on us and passed out, Phil and Lucas did later. For some reason I had a bundle
of energy and was ready to go. At the top of Massachusetts we encountered our new Highway Friends. It was a car
full of girls and I started to harrass them, but this time we got harrassed back. For miles we kept passing each other
making obscene gestures at each other. Phil woke up half way through the ordeal and gave them a pressed ham. We
later posted my phone number on the window and we chatted for a bit. I have talked to her since then, but not the other
girl. Overall I would say that that was the rowdiest I have ever seen Freeport get, and it was an away game.