Redneck Rowdiness

Cool Stories

    Back in the day the thing to do was harrass the rednecks.  They had two particular hangouts- McDonalds and the Firetower, two pretty grotty locations.  Whenever we got bored or had a good idea of harrassment we would go find the rednecks and do whatever felt was awesome at the time.  We had done such things as hide in the bushes and blast off potato guns at them, do randy car bombings in front of them (eratic tire squeels), or just yell profane comments at them.
    Well one day we drove by McDonalds and I yelled something at them and we all had a good chuckle about it.  Our hangout as everyone knows was the infamous Gap parking lot.  We were all hanging out there, there was probably about fifteen or twenty hoodlums, and all of a sudden we heard some randy noises.  What was heard was the back firing of shitty ass pick up trucks and the noise of tires peeling out. 
    I would have to say there was a parade of ten crappy ass automobiles bombing right at us.  As the rednecks were bailing up to the parking lot all the kids ran off into the woods leaving a few to deal with the rednecks.  It was Litchfield, Ike, Fishstix, and myself that held our own as the rednecks released their anger on us.  They claimed that we yelled "Fat Bitch" at Jamie Bennett who was pregnant at the time, which we didn't, plus we had no idea that she was pregnant. 
   So as the four of us were surrounded by all the rednecks in Freeport the rest of the kids hid in the bushes like wusses and left us for dead.  We had to deal with the likes of Randy Vickerson and Jamie Bennett's mom, who is the scariest of all the rednecks.  We didn't have a problem with the male rednecks, but when "Momma" yelled at us we were quite nervous.  It is true, the rednecks call Jamie Bennett's mom "Momma", that is so hillbilly. 
   There was this one dude, who I had never seen before, get totally rowdy on Ike.  The dude kept chest bumping Ike and telling him "Let's go!", as in throw a punch.  Ike wasn't going to throw the first punch, and neither was the other guy, so it was a pointless argument.  Finally all this came to an end when the Cops showed up and broke up the scene.  I was particularly nervous because I had a trespass warning at the Gap and if I was caught on the property I would go to jail.  The Cops thought this was all amusing and they had smiles on their faces as they told us to go home. 
    Once the Cops left the parking lot all the kids came out of the bushes.  I figured the kids totally ran away, but they stayed in the bushes and watched us get in this dispute.  This is when you know who your true friends are, when they stick by your side even if they might get their ass beat.